George Floyd

"The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy."

                                                                                                     -Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.

White community, American church are are we listening now?

Christians, do you hear our brothers and sisters saying "Do you hear me now?"

As a whole WE have not been listening. Otherwise, many of the names on the list above may not be there.

We all know Colin Kaepernick began a protest in 2016 that drew attention and criticism like any true civil rights activist. He did so peacefully. To the chagrin of many who continued to refuse to educate themselves on the issues he was peacefully protesting. 

There are two realities that exist in America. A white reality and a black reality. Unfortunately, the two continue on mostly geographically segregated and woefully economically disjointed. 

Our American system in all its patriotic glory indisputably benefits, protects and promotes whites over blacks. Being white gives one many subtle and sometimes overt privileges. 

Recently I have seen white friends and family confused about why riots are happening in their communities when "police brutality isn't happening here". First, I would challenge you to make sure that is what your local black community is saying. Trust their voice, they know how their children and loved ones are being treated.

As a white person you may experience defensiveness and angst reading this. You feel a need to defend because you have believed America is fair in a way she really never has been. I can tell you that for me the white fragility lessened with education.

The Netflix documentary The 13th is a great place to start if you are trying to listen, understand and be part of change. Knowledge is power. 

The sheer numbers hitting American streets right now testify to the injustice in our nation. 

MLK who is so often quoted and so highly revered in white communities today was arrested, hated and eventually killed in his time. He said this about riots:

“Certain conditions continue to exist in our society, which must be condemned as vigorously as we condemn riots. But in the final analysis, a riot is the language of the unheard. And what is it that America has failed to hear? It has failed to hear that the plight of the Negro poor has worsened over the last few years. It has failed to hear that the promises of freedom and justice have not been met. And it has failed to hear that large segments of white society are more concerned about tranquility and the status quo than about justice, equality and humanity. And so in a real sense our nation’s summers of riots are caused by our nation’s winters of delay. And as long as America postpones justice, we stand in the position of having these recurrences of violence and riots over and over again. Social justice and progress are the absolute guarantors of riot prevention”- Dr. Martin Luther King

Something else I want to speak to is "reverse racism". If a black person has been mean to you or in some way stereotyped you because you are white, color me not surprised. We all have racial bias. However, individual racial bias is something quite different than systemic racism. Our American system in all its patriotic glory indisputably benefits, protects and promotes whites over blacks. That is an inescapable American truth.

This last week has been incredibly difficult as we have watched things go from bad to worse in our nation. We are divided and lacking cohesive leadership, the instability is becoming palpable and I along with so many am beginning to wonder what's next.

As I have wrestled with the developing situation and the inequity ingrained in the system, I have cried out in prayer, as have so many with me. I am overwhelmed and frustrated. I am angry that politics and hatred are spilling over where righteous anger is warranted.

I am pleading with all who give my voice any merit or consideration, to press in with love. Listen, embrace change, educate yourself on the issues, have the hard conversations and grow in unity with your neighbors of color.

We must love our neighbor as ourselves. I will close with this.

"One day an expert in religious law stood up to test Jesus by asking him this question: "Teacher, what should I do to inherit eternal life?"

Jesus replied, "what does the law of Moses say? How do you read it?"

The man answered, "You must love the LORD your God with all your heart, all your soul, all your strength and all your mind.' And, 'Love your neighbor as yourself."

"Right!" Jesus told him. "Do this and you will live!"

The man wanted to justify his actions, so he asked Jesus, "And who is my neighbor?"

Now I am asking you. Who is your neighbor? How do you love them?

Let me introduce you to Art Therapy

I began my undergraduate studies in Columbus Ohio. I started at Columbus College of Art & Design completing their Foundation Arts program before transferring to Capital University to double major in Psychology and Art Therapy. I have the student loans (degree) to prove it.

I am often asked, what is Art Therapy?

In my last post I referenced my darkest days since adolescence being the years 2017-2019.

Here are some entries from my journal circa early 2019 when I was still trying to shovel through all the emotional fall out of a shattered marriage with a broken and confused heart.

 

 

I was thinking how fun it would be to put up a prompt and instructions and have those interested and stuck at home play along.

Therapeutic Art anyone? I would love to see your works and I promise it helps your mind calm down.

Report From Ground Zero

Where do I begin, when I have so much to say?

I just left my primary care doctor's office. I was going on another matter but had a question. As you'll see in the words to follow, I have some mighty radical opinions and ideas. However, I wanted to know his opinion as a medical professional on one of them.

"I think the kids and I had the Carona Virus weeks ago. When no one was really paying attention." I explained our symptoms, how long it lasted and that we had been asymptomatic for weeks now. He is thus far the only one I have presented the idea to, that undoubtedly agrees, it is very likely. Now of course, there is nothing to be done. No way to confirm or deny what passed through our family was Carona Virus but he did think that our community had already been exposed to an extent not yet recognized.

Three years ago I had a dream. It was so profound to me at the time I shared it with almost anyone who would listen, trying to find understanding and clarity.

Three years ago my life was much different. Three years ago I was a married woman. A homeschooling, stay-at-home, military spouse and foster mother. Who had lost herself completely. I had no idea who I was. I knew who Jesus was though and I lived by that.

Three years ago I was in a failing marriage with an angry man. I was lost and burned out and completely unaware of how my life was about to completely change forever.

Anyhow, I had a dream- January 2017. In the dream, I was in an office building in Seattle, on a top floor. To my right side I had a view of the Seattle skyline. From that viewpoint, I saw a flash of white light and waves of energy coming toward me. As I saw the waves coming, I understood clearly that I and everyone with me were dead. I began to pray, "Lord receive my spirit". At that moment I heard (with my ears not my heart) "Ezekiel 5:9".

I woke up at that moment. I prayed and went back to sleep. The next morning I couldn't wait to look up Ezekiel 5:9. I felt so sure it would be relevant to the imagery. I believed that very morning and to this very day believe that dream was from God. However, I was ill prepared for the words on that page.

Ezekiel 5:9 New International Version (NIV)

9 Because of all your detestable idols, I will do to you what I have never done before and will never do again.

Over the three years that followed that dream became a memory. I referenced it with people every so often as things would happen in my life to make me wonder what it might have meant. I had thought the white light I saw in the dream was an atomic bomb.

I can't begin to cover what all occurred for me personally in the three years between that dream and today. Everything has changed. The life I knew and the future I was certain of.... Gone.

I suspect Americans are about to feel the same way.

Don't get me wrong. I'm not panicking and I'm not intending to induce panic. I know the truth and promises of God and I've grown confident in the woman I am in him. He provides ALL my needs and he rewards those who diligently seek him. He is my refuge and I walk by faith not by sight. I yet rejoice at this trial because God is sovereign and His plan prevails, his name will be glorified and his purposes will be served. He works ALL things for the GOOD of those who LOVE Him and are called according to HIS purposes (emphasis mine).

All of that being said, I believe this Coronavirus is just the white light. The coming horror will be a slow burn. It's the waves that are coming after it that are going to be catastrophic.

James 4:8-10 New International Version (NIV)

8 Come near to God and he will come near to you. Wash your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded. 9 Grieve, mourn and wail. Change your laughter to mourning and your joy to gloom. 10 Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up.

We were made for such a time as this.

Blessings All Around

Have you been to a nursing home lately?

Over the summer as I prayed for a career and thought about my passions, I decided I wanted to work there: in a nursing home.

I thought an activities director in a nursing home would be the ideal thing for me. I have a bachelor's degree in Art Therapy and Psychology and a nearly life long compassion and special interest in the elderly.

A woman I consider a spiritual mentor told me, as my life fell down around me two years ago, that God  is "able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us" (Ephesians 3:20). I have clung to those words and have meditated on them many times, as I have asked for and imagined many pieces of a new and less broken life. A job has been a central focus for me in the rebuilding. For the first time since becoming a mother nine years ago, I must work out side the home. 

For months before hand I prayed and researched. I swung wildly trying to land on something I could be excited to do every day. Last winter I started classes to be a Medical Assistant, grappling for something reliable. Discovering that is not something I would enjoy doing every day, I jumped (with abandon) to the idea of a therapeutic art studio. A dream I still hold onto for the future. As I flailed I applied to many jobs, ranging from activity director positions in nursing homes, to cleaning positions for residential homes. 

I am so excited to say, I have a new job! I have been there right around a month. It is not a nursing home activities director, I am finding it is a much better job for me than that. More than I could have asked for or imagined. I didn't know this position even existed at the time of my prayers for a career job.

Which brings me back to my last question. Have you been to a nursing home lately?

The first day of my new job I went to an activities session at a nursing home. It was an eerie place, with people in and out of their minds, missing body parts and ignoring social norms. It stopped my world and I saw for a few moments all that is most beautiful about life. Everything was simplified to the most basic of human experiences, exposing the essence of humanity and our tender form.

I had thought nursing homes had changed from the bad reputations of old and I think many establishments really have. However, every day I walk through the doors of this particular place (where half of my caseload resides) my heart aches for the residents confined to these walls, with little intellectual or social interaction to feed the spirit and I thank God I'm there. 

I get to make my own schedule, do casework from home and do a truly meaningful job as a means of supporting my children. Life as a single mother of three is some kind of crazy beautiful. I am learning to trust in God's goodness and abundant provision. He is faithful. 

Be blessed! 

Artwork by 75yo female with very limited use of arms/hands

Training the Mind

Hello, my name is Stacy. I love Jesus and I take birth control and depression medicine. 

I am starting over in life. In many ways it feels like from scratch. I am often terrified.

February 14, 2019 the divorce of my 16 year marriage finalized. I was 18 when I married that man. We were one for half my life. At 35 it’s over. And now I start over.

Who am I? More importantly who do I want to be? What does a new life look like? What do I want to do? How do I move forward in a way that is best for my children? Where am I going?

Slow Down. Focus.

God is good.

I have all I need. 

Start over. Trust.

What makes me happy? Do that. 1-prayer/meditation 2-structure 3-routine 4-family tradition 5-quality time/relationship with those I love 6-creating 7-exercise 

Keep it simple. Be thankful. 

"Draw a Positive Image"